Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
