your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
