brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
sex in a hospital.. check
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
