you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
