You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
