I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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