Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
