hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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