Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
