The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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