I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
