btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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