dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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