Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
