thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
It's official drugs can't kill me
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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