Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize