life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I am puke
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
