Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Randomize
