I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
