Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
