I am puke
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
