Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
