Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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