Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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