there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize