Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
