No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize