He kissed a someone with a penis
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
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