Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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