my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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