He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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