i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
