I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
