I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
