Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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