this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
