we made out on top of his cat.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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