I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
