my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
