Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
So much rum. So many feels.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
