I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
The air taste purple.
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