Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
