And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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