BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
dude. I can hear the air.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
