what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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