I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Less talking, more tequila
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
