she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize