why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
