Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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