Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
