I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
