I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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