Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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