I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize