My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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