You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
