Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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