So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
