All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
