yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Randomize
