If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Rumble strips road head = magical
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
