whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
