): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize