I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
