i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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